*Troubled Heart*

I stand at that point.
At a crucial moment do I stand there.
My mind, must I make up.
For this cause must I take up.
Contemplation need I do.
But the luxury of contemplation do I not possess.
               
Unforeseen spiritual cause
As against long-termed schemed plans
Wrestle before me.
Will immersed in freedom
Opposing discipline bordering on the threshold of bondage;
Do I have the privilege to choose of.

Shall I on the holy part tow as the cleric pronounced
And my dreams bury?
Shall I my cravings fulfill and heavenly duty defy?
Though regardless, it be sure that
Greatness shall I attain.
Needless nonsensical choices do I not desire to effect!

Do not Man occasionally confuse their notion for the Still Small?
The Book doth utter thus, "Thy will be done!"
If it be not righteous service that contends,
Ascertaining would be a frisk.
Nay!
The Almighty doth love me immeasurably;
Cushioning me at every instance,
Strengthening me so my challenges I subdue.

My heart bleeds, for my dreams I hold so near.
And the workings of the Lord, I hold so dear.

Here have I been before,
Believing that in a probable next stance,
Shall I know how to do.
Now I be of no hint,
Quite as in the time afore.

What road to walk?
Doubt uninvited sits to dine.
When shall I bid bye?
To do, what?