Thursday, May 03, 2012

sweet and sour 2

I strolled into the continuity studio in my comfy and warm mini gown. I had gotten everything done as I wanted but could only get half an hour sleep. I was getting set for my show when I realised I forgot my flash drive at home. You see, I have two laptops- one at home and one at work, so all I have to do is transfer my work on a flash drive from home to use on my computer at work.

I hurried back to the lounge and shouted at Ben, my work buddy to help start and stall the program till I got back. I dashed to the nearest herd of bikemen. They already knew me so all I had to say was, “take me home”. I jumped off the bike and ran towards the house but stopped short at my door…there were dim lights inside. It was a little surprising since we almost never get robbery attacks in my area and it was still too early to even rob…it was only 6: 45pm.

I opened the door with my keys as I thought Bola must have left worked a little ear…”uhn!” I jumped. I had stepped on a cluster of rose petals strewn all over the floor. I looked at the trail, it led into my bedroom. There were candles lit and a sweet fragrance I didn’t recognize.

I took a deep breath and smiled, “Ok!”

It’s a little strange that Bola would do this as he knows I’m meant to be at the studio but who cares?! I pulled off my gown and went in semi-nude. I walked into the room but it was empty. All of a sudden, I feel a warm palm on my back and my mind went blank. It was quite dark as the blinds were closed and there was absolutely no light…I moved in to kiss Bola and felt a little gloss on his lips. As I leaned into his body, my boobs hit something just as similar and then I pushed and screamed.

I ran for the lights and just as I suspected, Chris was standing there, nude!

“What the f**k?!” I yelled.

“Oh, so If it had really been Bola, you would have slept with him”, she spat.

“And in my room?!” I wasn’t listening to her, I was too struck with disbelief….my mouth was still agape.

“You ungrateful wench! After the juicy offer I made you, you turn to treat me like this?”

My hands jerked and started lashing out. It wasn’t until she blocked off my hands that I realised I had been slapping her. It was like I went into some sort of rage that seized me. My initial reaction at my outburst was shock and then it gradually dissolved into a grin. Chris had been pushing my buttons and now I have finally snapped. Whatever she got, she deserved!

She held her face and stared.

“Pack all your trash and get the hell out of my house before I tear you apart.”

It didn’t take her long. As we both headed out I said, “Hand me the keys with you”.

I knew that was milking it a little too much and was a little surprised because she did. She stormed off and drove away in a hurry.

The night at the station was quite interesting and tiring. There was a long phone-in session and a lot of people had quite a lot to whine about. I unlocked my door and strolled in tired.

“Good morning dear”, I said to Bola, my voice barely louder than a whisper.

“How was your day yeaterday?” he really didn’t sound concerned.

“Eventful. I’ll give you the details later”, I said as I made to walk into my room

“Tell me now”, he literally barked at me. "I got a call from Chris’ father this morning, telling me that the deal is off and when I asked why, He mumbled something about violent roommates assaulting other people’s daughters.

I was no longer sleepy. I sighed and launched into the full story.

“Go to bed”, He was so sullen!

Image result for heart brokenI left without a word. Now wasn’t time to apologize, it would only make him madder. As I fell into bed, I checked my wristwatch; it was 6:13am. My mind started racing. I felt bad about how I messed Bola’s deal. He worked way too hard to lose it….

I woke up at 11:07am and dragged to the living room. Bola was just stepping in so I apologized, profusely!

He said not to worry, that it had all been settled but he gave no details. I decided not to push it, I could ask for details later. I was to have a meeting for 1:00pm so I got all showered and dressed. I left home in time for my meeting so I could beat traffic.

After my meeting, I hooked up with my some old friends. I thought to call Bola but I thought to let him be. I eventually headed home at 5:00pm. I had had a great time out with my friends. As I walked into the house, it seemed a little strange but I didn’t bother. I flopped on the settee and slept off.

I woke up an hour later but didn’t get up. My mind was blank and I simply stared at the wall. After awhile, I tilted my head to the right as I kept staring at a particular part of the wall that looked cleaner. Just then, I realised Bola’s picture used to hang there.

I jerked and looked at the table, Bola’s desktop was gone. I swung my head to check for his play station, gone! His ball, gone! I ran into his room, empty! I ran into my room, his picture on my dressing table was gone. I sank into the bed and felt something under my bum… a note?

It was short, with no explanation and no apologies. It simply read,

“I took Chris’ VGC offer that you turned down”

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

sweet and sour

My clothes were strewn everywhere.  As I bent up to pick, fold and arrange them neatly, my thoughts started racing. I have to be at the studio by 7:00pm for the night shift. It’s 3: 00pm now and my script isn’t even finished. I need an hour to leave the house, get to the studio and get settled in, so that means I must be out by 6:00pm. I need an hour to freshen up for work and an hour before that to sleep. By my calculation, I have just one hour to….

The shrill of the door bell interrupted my thoughts.

“I’m coming”, I yelled.

 As I swung the door open,”oh! Hello Chris, Bola isn’t home yet”.

Seeing that I wasn’t inviting her in, she said, “Actually Deola, I came to see you”.

Somehow, I had been expecting this visit but I was still surprised. I was going to ask her to come some other time but out of respect for Bola, I let her in, told her to sit and offered her a drink.

“I really don’t mean to be rude but I need you to make this quick ‘cos I haven’t finished my script yet”. She nodded.

Then she started, “I’ll go straight to the point”. I smiled

“I want you to move out!”

My neck snapped, “Excuse me?” I said I had been expecting this visit but I never expected the conversation to go this way.

Chris leaned forward,” Look, we both know that Bola is in love with you, and he is the only one who doesn’t seem to know it. I don’t stand a chance of making him fall in love with me if you don’t move out”.

I discreetly gritted my teeth and thought, ‘what nerve’! I was seething!

“I have a two bedroom flat in VGC at my disposal; the house comes with a Toyota car. I know it’s small but I’ll also give you a cheque of 2 million. All you have to do is move out by weekend and keep this between us.”

I smiled, “How awfully generous of you dear”.

She smiled back. Of course the sarcasm was lost on her; she is as dull as an overused pen!

“I’ll think about it.” I got up and walked towards the door, grabbed and swung it wide open, “Thanks for stopping by”.

She grinned, “awww! I knew this wouldn’t be so hard. We could all do with a little extra comfort, can’t we?”

My grin widened as I said, “We sure can!” and thought, ‘Get your butt out, you insulting b***h!’

I looked at the time…3: 20pm? That conversation seemed like an eternity! I really felt insulted. Who the hell does she think she is? Just a filthy rich kid without morals or principles, who thinks she can buy her way through life, that’s who!

“Mschew!” I hissed then thought, damn girl! That hiss was nasty! A smile crept on my face and then I remembered my dad and how I got to this point…

I’m sure people living three streets away would have heard him scream.

I rolled my eyes and answered from the next room, “yes daddy?!”

“Come here! Why didn’t you show up at church today?”

I took a deep breath, “daddy, we have been over this before. I am no longer coming to church with you. I have found a church where I feel fulfilled, why do you not understand this daddy? Why do you find it so hard to just accept? This is not out of disrespect or anything, I am just trying to find my own bearing”.

He gave me a stare, “you are asking me abi? Henceforth, you either come to church with me or you move out and attend whatever church you want, is that clear!” It really wasn’t a question.

He strode off to his room. I didn’t follow him. I made a mental note to talk to him later that night.

At about 10:00pm, dad retired to his room. I waited for about 30minutes so he could get settled before approaching him. I apologised for getting him angry and every other thing he might be accusing me of silently. Then, for the uptenth time, I explained the reasons behind my decision to leave the church he worshipped at. All attempts to bring him round were futile! He was sticking to his ultimatum.

The next day, I sent text messages to my siblings, asking them to beg him on my behalf but dad wouldn’t budge. I then called mum, dad’s brother and three of dad’s best friends, as it turned out, involving them only made it worse.

I was at my wit’s end, so I called Bola, my best friend.

“Hello dear”, he responded to my greeting.


“Deola, guess what, I just found this apartment in Opebi. It’s a two bedroom with a spacious kitchen, airy sitting room plus the lavatories are in good condition. With a little touch here and there, this crib would be so posh! The only problem is I am short of 60k and I haven’t found a roommate yet.”

“A smiled spread across my face, “I’ll be your roommate and I’ll give you the 60k by Friday.”

I could visualize his face gradually squeezing into a frown, “ok, start talking!”

Of course he knew something was wrong, that’s why we are besties. I downloaded the full gist…

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Do you want 60k and a roommate you already know through and through?”

“See you Wednesday!” He was referring to our weekly lunch out together.

“Yeah! Bye dear.”

Even though I had given Bola the money, I still made countless efforts to appeal to my dad but he was adamant. The final straw that broke the camel’s back happened the following Sunday. Dad must have been hoping I would have caved in and come to church by 8:00pm because at 8: 45, while I was out with the choir of my new church, he showed up and literally dragged me into the car. When we got to his church, I was all roughened up and refused to come out of the car. Suddenly, I heard a thunder bolt and simultaneously felt a searing pain at my cheek.

Needless to say, I moved out that day. Fortunately, Bola had finished cleaning and furnishing the house. I called him and he hired a cab to come get my stuff.

That is how it all started. It would have been easy for Bola and I to hit it off but we were scared of messing our friendship up, so we laid some ground rules about domestic work and our sex lives. We were also too busy trying to work our way to a place of relevance in our different fields, so there was no time to fool around.

This however, did not stop us from doing everything together. We cooked together, washed dishes and clothes together, sanitized the house together, attended parties as each other dates, called each other during distressing times at work, we would sing songs together, bring home little gifts every now and again; our lives were intertwined.

I called and visited home from time to time. At first, it was difficult to keep up because my relationship with my parents had become strained but I kept at it. Eventually, my dad asked me to come back home but by then, a year and a half had gone by.

A year and a half had gone by with Bola in my world and I started to believe things wouldn’t change. His friends were mine and my friends were his. Our world seemed to evolve around each other. Of course we had our fights and ugly moments but we managed them well. We shared trying times and we found consolation in each other.

Did we have sex?!

It was towards the end of our second year as friends? Lovers? Roommates? –whatever you want to call us- that he met Christian Odufe. She is the daughter of the CEO, O’Duffy Insurance Co. –a company which Bola was working with at the time.

Chris had had to represent her father at one of the scheduled meetings with Bola and out of courtesy and of course, desire to clinch the deal, Bola had fallen into all of Chris’ whims and she had in turn, made sure she left no stone unturned in her bid to lure him.

Soon enough, I got to meet her after I had heard more appalling stories than I cared to. Since Bola and I had never t to redefine our relationship, I couldn’t as well come off screaming about being cheated on.

Now, one might expect that things between Bola and I would change but it didn’t and still hasn’t. Rather than eat out with Chris, he would get home in time to help with the cooking. I am still the one he calls when he is on the edge at work; I was still his confidant and bestie.

Fridays, fortnightly, his friends with their girlfriends /fiancĂ©es would gather at our place for some sort of mini-party. In time past, we had had spaghetti parties, pizza parties, French fies and burger party – they were all food-themed parties with all sorts of drinks and loud music. Countless times, we had neighbour banging on our door because of the music, the more daring ones joined in the fun!

All this of course, irked Chris. I was the known and accepted one...I was a major stakeholder in the ‘cabal’ and no one wanted that to change. The other girlfriends couldn’t relate with Chris, therefore, she wasn’t invited to our bi-monthly girls’ night (this started a year ago). Chris started to misbehave as there is only so much she could take. Pity!


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Nigeria, We Hail Thee……NOT!

Prior to the elections that took place in April 2011, there were series of bombing and security threats in the country. I have never been a politics fanatic but I was particularly struck by the bombings in Jos. Perhaps what caught my attention and even appalled me about the whole matter was that our then acting President made a visit to the distressed areas and refused to make references to the tragic situation. He offered no word of comfort nor made promises to bring the hoodlums to justice.

It was at this point that my red flags started to shoot up and my “retard” alert started to blare. I, of course made made sure to point this out to anyone who so much as mentioned his name. We all got carried away by sentiment because the man-child with no shoes was about to be “cheated” by those who preached zoning. Quite a number of people where even blasphemous enough to proclaim him messiah! We got “hypnotised” by the series of “goodlucks” that Goodluck has had:
·         Going from Assistant Prefect to Head Prefect
·         From Deputy Governor to Governor and
·         From Vice-President to President
I suppose it didn’t matter that negative things had to happen to his direct boss in each case before he replaced them? Goodluck indeed!

Image result for nigerian flag nullWe voted him in and trouble started. Boko Haram, which the President has declared is partially dominated by some members of the civil service, has continually bombed and attacked innocent citizens of this country, wasting lives at will, even on a day as sacred as Christmas. Our beloved President did not at anytime lash out in anger nor make threats, even if they are empty ones.

He even had the guts to tell us on National television that the bombings- the loss of lives and property, the security threats- are part of the burden that Nigerians must bear. I mean, when the President and the Commander-in-Chief of armed forces of Nigeria tells you that you just have to bear the loss of life and lack of security, he tells you in other words that he cannot provide you with security and that you are on your own , whatever happens. What else could you possible expect from that kind of leader???

He told Nigerians that fuel subsidy will be removed in April 2012 but decided it would be best as a New Year heart-felt gift to us all.

Fuel Subsidy removal! What for? Obonjo Iweote tells me it is for:
·         Provision of vocational skills training to reduce unemployment
·         Empowering private business owners to create more and better paying jobs
·         Provision of better health services to reduce maternity death rates
·         Repairing federal roads to reduce accident rates
·         Improvement of the educational system
·         Assess to better power supply
·         Provision of buses for better transportation
·         Bla blab la bla!
Let me tell you something grandma, Nigerians may have suffered and smiled for a long time but most of us certainly aren’t retards (I really can’t speak for good luck here). Do you really think we do not know that these things have always been listed in the national annual budget for God-know-how-long now?? Do you think we have forgotten that these are the things our Presidential aspirants, quite sadly and unfortunately, have been using as campaign strategy since Nigeria’s independence??

Can anyone of you or the past presidents and governors account for all the money that has been allocated for these things in the past years?? Oh! Sorry I forgot…they are in private off-shore accounts, so well hidden that even EFCC doesn’t have enough evidence to nail y’all. Hasn’t there been money allocated for these things this year???

Let’s even assume that you really care and we do need to remove subsidy, what steps has government officials taken to show that they are truly committed to this cause??? Have you stepped forward to state that you all will cut down considerably on your outrageous allowances and salaries?

Jonathan wakes up every day to wear his expensive ever-mourning regalia and sits to a table of breakfast costing just a token of N800, 000 which even a person on minimum wage does not make in a year. Or perhaps we should discuss the necessity for him to change all furniture and utensils in Aso Rock, seeing that Yar’adua died there and cancer has become contagious???

Imagine Goodluck getting house rent, transport, feeding and clothing allowance? Aren’t there tailors permanently at Aso-Rock? And house- rent? What does he need transport allowance for? Does he buy fuel for his convoy or his private jets???

Walahi! Someone ought to give good luck 10 drinks of liver salt a day, he just might grow one!