Pouring Pores

Can I just say first of all that I do understand that we are not all the same. I know each person has a distinct genetic make up and that our bodies react differently even to the same things but let us be clear on one thing, your genetic makeup or body reaction is not an excuse to inconvenience or hurt other people. I am very serious!

It is completely okay to sweat buckets, its no one's fault really but thank God for the wisdom he has bestowed upon some to produce effective antiperspirant deodorants and fragrances that mask unpleasant odour. Buy them, use them and smell nice.

Recently, I took a napep headed to Ogba. I was the first to get in after which the next passenger came in with a gigantic map of sweat around his armpit area. I squashed in the corner, angling my shoulders not to make direct contact with his armpit. If that was all I had to deal with, I definitely would have lived.

The stench oozing from his armpits were so pungent, at some point, I shifted till I had my back to him and my nose was out of the napep; I needed the breath of fresh air. It may seem mean, but it honestly was that bad, I was almost choking.  There are times I sit beside pleasantly fragranced men and women, though far between, those days make bus-riding pleasant.

#TalesOfACommuter

The Thigh Rub

This kind bus life, nawa oh! It is only God that will help me keep my sanity oh. What happened?

Okay, let me start off by saying I am not really into all that body-contact thing, especially with people I don't know. Yeah, I know we ladies always have our bags on our shoulders or arms; or our purses in our hands but the menfolk just usually shove their wallets in their side or back-pockets. I have absolutely no quarrel with that.

What I have a problem with is that a brother who knows his wallet or money is in his pocket will not remove it before entering buses where we are all cramped together like sardines, No. He waits until the conductor requests for money , then he starts to dig into his pocket in that horridly tight space, inadvertently rubbing against your thighs. 

The more respectable ones have learnt how to raise their lower body to avoid appearing to be groping females but the careless ones will even elbow your boobs (insert wide eyes here). I mean, what is so difficult in bloody getting your bloody money out in time? What?

#TalesOfACommuter

Knees in the Flesh

No! No! No! No! No!

I can't take this, I really can't. What is this about now? You took a bus and paid your fee and so did I but somehow, your knee is digging into my bum from behind. What is that about? You really can't say you can't feel it so, why won't you sit properly in the bus?

Well, yours truly won't accept any of that BS so I deal with it almost immediately...

"Oga, please sit up", I'd say
"Excuse me?" He'd retort.

By now, fight lovers and aprokos are now watching or pretending to be looking ahead though their invisible aproko ears are stretched.

"I said, 'please sit up. Your knees are digging into my bum'"

...and there goes endless expressions from all corners of the bus: The shock, the smile, the quiet chuckle, the boisterous laugh, the head shakes, the rebuke and of course, that embarrassed flush on the face of my bum-harasser as he scurries to sit up as instructed.

There... the balance of the universe has been restored and now  I can go back to my struggle against soaking up other people's sweat in peace.

#TalesOfACommuter

Tales of a Commuter

I know it has been quite long I was here last; okay, its been over a year. Some of you are even tired of encouraging me to come back on here; well, I am back now. Can we kiss and make out now?! Ooops! Sorry, I meant make up; its the bloody autocorrect (yeah right).

I am back on my free-spirit zone and I have something new too; I present to you the Tales of a Commuter. You see, the past one years has left me exhausted and weary of public transportation and since I tend to rant about it on Facebook every now and then, I figured I might as well make it a series here. They will mostly be short stories so don't  worry about long reads.

Welcome me back!